January 08, 2009
LEGAL DERP
OK, so here's where
knitting and government meet:
The new Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act – passed hastily to bar poisonous foreign products – also will require millions of American homecrafters to have each of their products tested at huge cost, ranging from $500 to $4000 per product – including their old stock which was manufactured before this law had even been thought up.
So government tried to do a good thing by banning lead toys from China and those beads that turned into the date-rape drug. But they derp-ed it up and forgot to exclude those of us who make baby things from home.
We in the group I belong to are unsure how this affects us. We do not receive monetary donations and we do not sell our items. But we better not be legally barred from making our preemie donations to the local hospitals because of some stupidly worded law. And I don't want people selling on Etsy or Ebay to be affected either.
Kuhr says all the homecrafters of the US 'will become criminals from February 10 if they continue to sell their homemade stock without the required certificate of compliance to prove that it had been tested for dangerous contents such as lead'.
From now on, while I'm knitting my preemie caps, I will be saying in a Beavis voice, "Breakin' the law, breakin' the law."
But seriously folks, we're running out of time before the law takes effect. I plan to make a complaint, and if you are a crafter, I would urge you to do the same.
Formal complaints against this act must be lodged before January 20 2009 Comments must be labeled: Section 102 Mandatory Third-Party Testing of Component Parts'. Lodge complaints to email Sec102ComponentPartsTesting@cpsc.gov
Posted by: Sarah at
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I read about this yesterday with regards to how it would affect thrift stores and others in the 2nd hand market. Yard sales will still be okay. I am glad that there has been such an uproar about this, and I hope they change the law.
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at January 08, 2009 12:10 PM (irIko)
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This doesn't make any sense! You, for example, are using products that have been purchased and thus should already have been tested before being put on the shelves. Why do they need to be tested again?!?
Posted by: Kiki at January 08, 2009 03:16 PM (P1eqB)
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OK - I've sent my complaint as logically and politely as I can. I agree with Amritas that it's much more likely ignorance than malice; after all, isn't there some law about unintended consequences, to begin with? ;-)
Posted by: kannie at January 08, 2009 07:46 PM (iT8dn)
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1. Can I get some gloves with MORE lead in them? Would be great for self defense...
2. if you get arrested, have the hubby post the location. I need some shoot-house practice, anyway.
3. If you ignore the law, like the 20 million or so illegal immigrants, likely the gummint will see it as a problem that's just too large to deal with.
4. Under the new administration, you'll be safe. Just mention one of these tried and true excuses:
a. It's for the Children
b. It's to help mother gaia, these are all eco-friendly yarns and stuff, made from free-range sheep's wool and all-organic polyester.
c. I only knit Che-berets
d. It's part of my islamic heritage! You are the infidel! Appease me!
Posted by: Chuck at January 09, 2009 05:46 AM (bQVIy)
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Okay, so I read about this on HotAir too. And they have a video of a bonafide liberal who realizes "Oh, maybe over govt. regulation DOES hurt business." La - di - freakin - DUH!
http://hotair.com/archives/2009/01/09/video-regulation-fan-discovers-inner-libertarian-when-it-hits-her-pocketbook/
Imagine that, increases in regulations/inspections actually then increases operation costs among businesses and then businesses decide to pull back or not do any business at all to avoid these additional costs. Businesses are in existence to make money first, social-appeasement second. Non-profits are about social-assistance first, money second. ItÂ’s not rocket science!
While I do think not having lead in toys in a good thing - politicians have a tendency to write bills without thinking about real-world ramifications. That's usually because our politicians are ambition-driven law students who have spent their life campaigning but not actually working in the business world. The only thing these types of bills do in terms of a benefit are making it seem like some nimrod politician actually did something in office so he can have a talking point come the next election term.
That's why people, especially small business advocates, have a problem with govt. intervention and regulation. We need politicians who know a thing or two about economics from practical experience, not just a Harvard econ 101 class. That way when regulations are created (like safety restrictions on children's toys) there is a way to achieve the mail goal - safety - without interfering in business and job production in our economy.
Posted by: BigD78 at January 09, 2009 11:25 AM (W3XUk)
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BidD is correct...too many politicians are totally disconnected from the world of those who make and sell things. Too high a proportion of them are lawyers and/or have spent their entire careers in "public service."
Sarah, I just linked this post at
Chicago Boyz.
Posted by: david foster at January 09, 2009 12:59 PM (ke+yX)
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I've been following this for quite sometime now. It's pretty ridiculous b'c it's so very vague on so many items. Even the labs you need to send the products to haven't been certified. The list is quite endless. Hopefully they'll get to work and modify this, I understand not wanting lead in kids' products but this law is taking it to an extreme. :-/
Posted by: Penny at January 11, 2009 03:27 PM (5y/PV)
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> But they derp-ed it up
Technogeeks already had a term for this:
MUNG
It's an acronym.
It stands for
MUNG Until No Good
Posted by: obloodyhell at January 12, 2009 11:40 PM (IdgIO)
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> I was thinking the same thing myself, but the paranoid might object by pointing out that homecrafters could mix dangerous materials along with safe, store-bought ones. So expensive tests would be needed to verify the absence of toxic content.
Next up: Restaurants will have to send out any dishes to be tested before serving to customers for bacterial, chemical, or other adulterants.
This will be passed because someone inadvertently fed a child something and they got sick.
============================
IT'S ALL TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!!
Surely you CARE about THE CHILDREN, don't you!?!?!
============================
I'm put in mind of an interchange in an old SF book from the 80s:
-------
"Marxist truth!", sneered Skashkash. "Marx himself didn't believe it!"
"[Prove it!]"
"Very well," replied Skashkash. "First, Karl Marx held two values above all others -- the revolution and scientific truth. Second, Marx, a man of undoubted genius, died without ever finishing his magnum opus, 'Das Kapital'. A genius does not die without finishing his life's work - I could cite you examples as nauseum - but Marx lingered for years without finishing 'Das Kapital'."
"So what? He got old and sick and couldn't write, but what he wrote was the truth."
"No, the reason that Marx never finished his work was that his two prime values, revolution and scientific truth, were in conflict. He had, as you will doubtless recall, set up a progression of social orders, from chatel slavery, to feudalism, to capitalism, to what he called s o c i a l i s m - a kind of unspecified utopia. In fact, there was another step after capitalism available for his study, but he suppressed it, because it was incompatible with his notion of revolution. He called it the 'Oriental Mode of Production' and it was amply demonstrated in Chinese history. It is capitalism made subordinate to the state by means of innumerable petty regulations. You could describe it as enlightened petty despotism, or as symbiosis of the individual and the collective. Had Marx elected to follow scientific truth instead of revolution, he would have predicted what happened in the U.S. after the Great Depression. He would have been a major prophet."
- Alexis A. Gilliland, 'Long Shot for Rosinante' -
Posted by: Obloodyhell at January 12, 2009 11:50 PM (IdgIO)
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P.S. there comes a point beyond which spamguards are stupid and useless:
"Your comment could not be submitted due to questionable content: c i a l i s"
Note that I inserted spaces to get it past the spamguard.
The offending componentof the post?
"S o c i a l i s m"
----=======--
:-/
If there is a way to do it, you need to add spaces onto the ends of the offending term. And that's not going to stop any bot with a clue, but neither will it as-is.
Posted by: obloodyhell at January 12, 2009 11:54 PM (IdgIO)
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January 07, 2009
ARAN PROGRESS
I'm getting better at the aran pattern; at this point, I am even able to listen to music and sing along whilst knitting. No TV though. But tomorrow night is the Fedex Bowl, and I think I can aran during football.

Don't worry; 2009 won't only be knitblogging.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Looks beautiful so far!
Posted by: Kiki at January 07, 2009 09:28 AM (P1eqB)
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Ditto. I love "making of" pictures!
Eventually you'll be able to aran through anything. And spontaneously create your own patterns without even trying!
Posted by: Amritas at January 07, 2009 10:02 AM (KGWHR)
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Ha, well, I hope I don't do too much spontaneous pattern creation on this one, cuz that will mean I'm doing it wrong
Posted by: Sarah at January 07, 2009 10:06 AM (TWet1)
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Wow! Beeee-autiful! :-) And I'm still too scared to start a pair of socks... but you've reminded me that I should get that crocheted blanket out to work on during tomorrow night's game! What a great football project! :-)
Posted by: kannie at January 07, 2009 10:20 AM (iT8dn)
Posted by: annie at January 07, 2009 10:39 AM (wfky/)
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I meant you'd create a sweater ex nihilo via total improvisation, not change the pattern on this one halfway ... though you could start a new fad and get rich. One knitter's error is another wearer's fashion.
Posted by: Amritas at January 07, 2009 12:44 PM (KGWHR)
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Pretty! I LOVE cabling! I'm working on some legwarmers and a sweater right now that has lots of cable work!
Posted by: Tania at January 07, 2009 02:03 PM (KfVPZ)
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I'll never knit but I do find the stuff you write on it interesting...Ever thought of starting a mini-companion blog just for the knitting stuff? More work I know but you could just write a special RSS feed to pull only the knitting stuff you're already putting up here...K, done geeking out for now..
Posted by: David at January 08, 2009 04:48 AM (AEMm3)
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RANT
AirForceWife sent me a link to a
heck of a rant...
IÂ’m pissed off by how soft many in our nation have become. How whimpy the tone, how spineless the resolve. What happened to that brutally real notion that people should be held responsible for his or her actions? Nowadays, it always seems to be someone elseÂ’s fault, whatever it is. Got a life of poverty, itÂ’s rich folks doing it to you.
Alcohol addiction, substance abuse, your mother never said she loves you. Having trouble finding work, it’s the white, black, purple guys keeping you down. Your car company is going under, it’s the unfair business practices abroad and an economic downturn. Hey, nimrods – newsflash. LIFE IS HARD. The End. Get used to it, suck it up, get some spine, invent some if you have none, and GET ON WITH IT!!!!
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Oh. My. Word. Thank you Sarah & AFW for that!!! :-) I've liked that guy since Alien Nation, LOL... (and I'm sure that his frequently-used acronym means "Forget That Silliness" ;-)
Jokes aside, it really is heartening to see more people willing to put
serious chips down to stand up against tyranny. There are more of us out here all the time! :-)
Posted by: kannie at January 07, 2009 10:16 AM (iT8dn)
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AMEM! Honestly, I wish more people would feel this way instead of defending people's avoidance of responsibility. Be thankful for the blessings you have and appreciate the ones you earn. Life is hard for everyone - it's all relative. Too often the will power to overcome adversity is what separates the strong from the weak. Not skin color, economic backgrounds from birth, etc. I've know plenty of rich kids to piss away their money and plenty of smart kids to throw away opportunities. There were times I was working 3 jobs to support myself. Not because I wanted to, and it wasn't always fun. Who the @#$!@# wants to work? It would be awesome if we were all rich and could travel the world 24/7, but then what would we have to strive for. I have to say that I actually agreed with Phil Gramm when he said this summer this is a nation of whiners.
Posted by: BigD78 at January 07, 2009 12:27 PM (W3XUk)
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BUSY
Yes, I've been MIA. And this time it's not one of those nothing-to-say reasons for not blogging. I have just been busy with work and haven't been on the internet. I haven't even read another blog all week.
No time for love, Dr. Jones.
(You should count that as two quotes.)
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January 06, 2009
QUOTES
Oda Mae sent me a link and I have spent wahhhhhy too much time on this today, but I love reading everyone's
favorite movie quotes.
Around our house, we have some tried and true quotes. I like when I am explaining something complicated to my husband and he brushes me off with Jack Burton's "I know, there's a problem with your face." When the dog does something cute, we fake cry and say, "Ah luve him so much." When someone says something illogical, we always say that electrolytes are what plants crave. Yesterday I was so mad at someone that this came out of my mouth: "I hated her, so much... it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath..." Ha. I could go on and on.
But lately the thing that has cracked me up the most is when my husband makes our life part of FAIL blog. The other day we were in a loud place and he was telling me about an upcoming movie, and I misunderstood the first sentence he said so none of the rest of the plot made any sense. The whole thing got so muddled, and finally my husband just goes, "Conversation FAIL" and I cracked up.
I love quoting things, per se.
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I think So I Married an Ax Murderer is the most quoted movie in the AF Household.
The most versatile quotes coming from the part of the movie where the father is discussing world domination and Col. Sanders.
"Och, I hate the Colonel with his wee beady eyes! You're gonna eat my chicken!"
Useful in situations where there is fried chicken involved or when we're talking about worldwide evil cabals.
Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 09:10 AM (Fb2PC)
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AFW, that's a good one too! Sometimes my husband says he's gonna cry himself to sleep on his giant pillow. Heh. Oh, and I like saying, "Excuse me, there's been a mistake, I ordered the LARGE coffee."
Posted by: Sarah at January 06, 2009 09:40 AM (TWet1)
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We're big time movie quoters in this household. Most of our quotes come from the second Austin Powers movie (and mostly things Dr. Evil said). The husband quotes lines from Full Metal Jacket once in a while, no big surprise there.
Oh, happy new year btw!
Posted by: Pia at January 06, 2009 09:41 AM (MJr9d)
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I would say Forrest Gump, for whatever reason, and Wedding Singer, for obvious reasons, are quoted most at our house.
"And then, Ah was ruh-ning..."
And, any time we have shrimp it's suh-rimp and we name off as many suh-rimp dishes as we can.
In the wedding singer, if we deal with a crazy person, it's "Hey, psycho. Why don't you take off my Van Halen t-shirt b/4 you jinx the band and they break up?!"
"Again, something I could have benefited from knowing YESTERDAY." (very popular at Casa W).
We lurve our movies!!
Thank God you posted, Sarah...I was worrying maybe you and Russ were trapped under something heavy.
Posted by: Guard Wife at January 06, 2009 11:43 AM (N3nNT)
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Whenever our kids are running around outside we'll yell, "Ruuuun, Forrest!"
LMAO!
And The Wedding Singer is such a classic! When AFG is sick, we ask him how dead he is (the Princess Bride). When I'm being really bitchy, he'll tell me, "As you wish..."
When he's being a dork, I'll tell him, "No, I didn't ask what you did for a living. I asked
who you are," from Anger Management.
Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 12:05 PM (Fb2PC)
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I know I've spent too much time in cartoon movie land. My favorite that I've actually been heard quoting in public is from Kung Fu Panda "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."
Posted by: dutchgirl at January 06, 2009 12:17 PM (rVkwX)
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When I was in Afghanistan, about 90% of my team's communication was in quotes from either Anchorman or Napoleon Dynamite. I had to watch both movies before I could effectively communicate.
Posted by: Sig at January 06, 2009 01:22 PM (uGgey)
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This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow-staff.
I'll try to stop now.
Okay, one more. When we see someone we really hate, AFG will copy the baby in Meet the Fockers, "Ass...Hooooole"
I could totally do this all day...
Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 03:01 PM (Fb2PC)
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Lately, one of our frequent movie quotes is from the second Austin Powers movie (I think – I haven't seen it): "We do not gnaw on our kitty" (complete with accent). Ian has a stuffed tiger, and shoves its face in his mouth when we hand it to him. I think he's kissing it.

Monty Python, Anchorman (another I haven't seen, but my husband has), MST3K, Simpsons, Futurama, and some others I can't remember right now tend to sneak into our conversations.
Posted by: Deltasierra at January 06, 2009 07:14 PM (uGgey)
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We do Monty Python--"I'm feeling much bett-ah!"--and So I Married an Axe Murderer. I love "flames on the side of my face". But the family favorite is The Princess Bride. There's a quotation for every situation. Every. Single. One.
Posted by: Lucy at January 06, 2009 10:45 PM (LRv+G)
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January 02, 2009
STOP IT
Was logging off to go to bed and saw
an article that got my blood all angered up.
Motorists are driving less and buying less gasoline, which means fuel taxes aren't raising enough money to keep pace with the cost of road, bridge and transit programs.
That has the federal commission that oversees financing for transportation talking about increasing the federal fuel tax.
STOP TAXING US! Don't you take enough already? For the love of all that is holy, find the money to fix roads in the huge sum of taxes you already take from us.
The National Commission on Surface Transportation Infrastructure Financing, a 15-member panel created by Congress, is the second group in a year to call for increasing the current 18.4 cents a gallon federal tax on gasoline and the 24.4 cents a gallon tax on diesel. State fuel taxes vary from state to state.
In a report expected in late January, members of the infrastructure financing commission say they will urge Congress to raise the gas tax by 10 cents a gallon and the diesel tax by 12 cents to 15 cents a gallon. At the same time, the commission will recommend tying the fuel tax rates to inflation.
So the government takes 18¢ per gallon and wants to take 28¢. From TaxFoundation.org, "Today, U.S. consumers pay an average of 45.9 cents per gallon in gasoline taxes. The federal gasoline excise tax is 18.4 cents per gallon while the average state and local tax is 27.5 cents." The oil companies only make something like 10¢ profit on each gallon. And boy, do people like Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi like to go on and on about the obscene profits Big Oil makes.
The dilemma for Congress is that highway and transit programs are dependent for revenue on fuel taxes that are not sustainable. Many Americans are driving less and switching to more fuel-efficient cars and trucks, and a shift to new fuels and technologies like plug-in hybrid electric cars will further erode gasoline sales.
According to a draft of the financing commission's recommendations, the nation needs to move to a new system that taxes motorists according to how much they use roads.
So we're driving less and saving Mother Earth, but now that's bad because we're not paying enough in taxes. Hey, maybe they can do this thing Neal Boortz wrote about: In 2006, Oregon was considering outfitting all cars with GPS and monitoring how many miles you drive, then taxing you per mile. Hooray for Big Brother.
Charles Whittington, chairman of the American Trucking Associations, which supports a fuel tax increase as long as the money goes to highway projects, said Congress may decide to disguise a fuel tax hike as a surcharge to combat climate change.
[...]
"Instead of calling it a gas tax, call it a carbon tax," Whittington said.
Oh no, you did not just say that out loud. You're going to use PC buzzword bullcrap to hide a new tax, making people feel good because they're paying some imaginary carbon offset nonsense.
Stop taking our freaking money!
The ridiculous part of all of this is that roads is the one thing I think government should do. Sadly, instead they've wasted all our money on bailouts and wool research and rum rebates to Puerto Rico.
Grrr.
Makes me want to go drink a Sam Adams and throw some tea in a harbor.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Check out Krauthammer's suggestion for a Net-Zero gas tax. http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/949rsrgi.asp
Posted by: Eric at January 03, 2009 05:14 AM (I4B2Z)
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One would think that less driving would also mean less *wear* on roads...ditto for the effect of vehicles which gain fuel efficiency by being *lighter*.
ATA better be careful about beating the "carbon" drum too loud, or people might remember than railroads are at least 3X as fuel-efficient as trucks.
Posted by: david foster at January 03, 2009 07:28 AM (ke+yX)
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Yeah - reminds me of a few years ago. After 2 or 3 mild winters in a row, the local gas companies in Illinois petitioned the regulatory commission to allow them to raise rates so that their stock holders could continue to get the same return on their investment. I guess when people use less gas to heat their homes, there is less profit to pay dividends. They actually got a rate increase on that basis - I guess we are supposed to pay the same amount of money to the gas company no matter how much or little we use!
Posted by: mwknitter at January 04, 2009 09:10 PM (dXVaX)
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January 01, 2009
CHRISTMAS KNITTERY
Some more photos of recent projects. These are some of the
little mitten ornaments I made this year. These two were for The Girl, who was the one who sent me that
awesome bracelet, and my mother.

And these are juggling balls I made for my friend. I love how they turned out. Who woulda thought of writing a pattern for juggling balls?

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Hey, those are so cool. Where can I get that pattern for the juggling balls?
Posted by: Mare at January 01, 2009 06:43 PM (APbbU)
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I found the pattern while flipping through the book
Closely Knit. The pattern was easy enough that I memorized it just from reading through it. I can email you the basic concept if you'd like.
Posted by: Sarah at January 02, 2009 03:58 AM (TWet1)
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You do such good work!

How are you doing??
I'm around should need to chit chat with someone other than Charles.

I'll try to hit the post office with a little something I've needed to send your way.
Posted by: Guard Wife at January 02, 2009 04:10 AM (N3nNT)
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LONELY
OK, so it's not just the dog who's bummed.
I think it was too soon to send my husband away again. I cannot remember a night during deployment when I felt as lonely and depressed as I do tonight. I have been on the verge of tears all afternoon.
But all these pants stories helped.
Is it bedtime yet? Heck, is it Sunday yet?
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I've been far lonelier since he left after R&R than I was before. I think it's because we get a taste of what it's like for them to be here again and then they're gone. And we ramp up to deployment so we're ready for it... but there's no major buildup before sending them back after R&R or for other types of separations.
I'm with ya with the nearly crying all day thing.
Posted by: Sis B at January 01, 2009 02:27 PM (0ScrO)
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LAPGHANS
I like taking photos of the stuff I donate just because I forget how many things I actually make, and it's fun to go back and remember color combinations and styles. My mother-in-law mailed me some leftover cream and tan that I was able to match up with some other stuff. These are two blankets that will be donated to the VA hospital.

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ALONE AGAIN
I called my husband last night a few minutes after midnight and said, "It's 2009 here; what year is it where you are?" He said, "2008. Are you calling me
from the future?" It cracked me up.
I spent the evening with a friend, which was fun. I am home alone now, and it's surprising how normal it feels. Almost like my husband was never here. This is just how I lived for so long that it feels normal.
I think the dog is depressed though.
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December 31, 2008
ANOTHER GOODBYE
So today I have to say goodbye to my husband again. It's just for the weekend -- he's flying home alone to see his family -- but I hate the idea of saying goodbye again so soon, of eating and sleeping alone, all that. Ugh, and I get to do it again next month when he goes to SERE school.
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December 30, 2008
December 29, 2008
ARAN
I am knitting the hardest thing I've ever knitted before.
It sucks.
I have wanted an Aran sweater for a long time, so I started making one. So far I have done eight rows of pattern, four one day and four another. Four is actually too much for one sitting, at least at this point when I haven't really memorized any of the segments of the pattern yet. I have never had to concentrate so hard on a project before.
The pattern isn't available anywhere online, but I found a work-in-progress photo on knitting blog. She had let it sit for over two years and made it her New Year's resolution to finish in 2008. I wonder if she did.
I resolve to do two rows a day.
I also found a hilarious official photo of the sweater. No, I am not making the beret. Or holding a paddle.
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But---but--the beret is so JAUNTY!!
You know,those patterns were varied,clan by clan,
so that when the fishermen wearing them fell over
board and washed up on shore they could be identified...
You could make up your own crazy pattern for
"Clan Grok " --we'd be none the wiser
Posted by: MaryIndiana at December 30, 2008 02:34 AM (p105G)
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So you've accepted the ultimate challenge at last!
It sucks.
But it will rock when you're done.
I have wanted an Aran sweater for a long time, so I started making one.
And when the rest of us want something, we just buy it.

Oh, you "crafty" folk!
But---but--the beret is so JAUNTY!!
I agree with Mary. Be like us lazy people. Buy a beret and paddle - and pose!
How did you find the pattern?
You could make up your own crazy pattern for "Clan Grok"
Maybe you could do that after you're done with this first sweater. Gulchwear could be your next project.
Posted by: Amritas at December 30, 2008 02:52 AM (HGaLd)
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I totally think the paddle adds that little bit of, I don't know,
firmness to the look.
Posted by: airforcewife at December 30, 2008 05:08 AM (Fb2PC)
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I made a sweater of what looks like the same pattern for my husband many years ago. He loved it, but I really didn't knit much after that. Hard, very hard, but in those days I had more spirit to try something like that. I think it wound up in the dog's bed after quite a few years.
Posted by: Ruth H at December 30, 2008 09:50 AM (Y4oAO)
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I found your blog a couple of weeks ago and love it!
I must be a weirdo, but I love aran knitting--it's intarsia that drives me mad. The beauty of aran is that it's repetitious, so once you figure out where the pattern is going, you won't have to hover over your book. Good luck with it!
Please keep up with the groking/blogging, I've added you to my daily reading list!
Posted by: Valarie at December 30, 2008 02:46 PM (6uT+v)
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LINK
Michelle Malkin:
Fit Republican president = Selfish, indulgent, creepy fascist.
Fit Democratic president = Disciplined, health-conscious Adonis role model.
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DYNAMIC STAGNANCY
My husband finished his MBA three days before deploying. He took a full load of distance classes every term in addition to his full-time Army job. He was always busy. And he finished the program and deployed, so I was really looking forward to having him home and having him to myself. No more homework, no more projects, no more me sitting alone in the TV room all day Saturday and Sunday while he worked.
He sat me down last night and said that he wants to start a new Master's Degree. Or learn Pashto. Or both. Either way, he warned me, he will be busy again. There go our Saturdays and Sundays.
I admire him for taking his professional development so seriously. But I can't help but feel frustrated that the thing I was supposed to be doing -- raising a baby -- hasn't happened yet and I keep sitting around waiting for my life to start. I could relate to Heidi's recent post about being consumed with the way life should have been instead of what it really is. I don't know what to do with myself besides sit around and wait for baby to show up. That's my only major life goal, and I've been twiddling my thumbs on it for two years now.
Maybe I ought to learn Pashto too.
Posted by: Sarah at
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You really must embrace what IS. You don't have your baby yet. When you do finally have one, you will never have time again. You'll find that you can accomplish more things in an hour than you used to do in a day, and yet still never catch up.
And you'll fantasize about all the wonderful things you could have done with all that time pre-baby.
Absolutely live your life the way it is, even though it's not what you want it to be. I find myself in this battle constantly. When HD goes back to his Dad's house, I want to crawl under the bed and sleep until he comes back. I want everything to stop. Some days are better than others, but what I keep coming back to is that things are pretty damn good, even if it's not ideal.
You're alive now. You're healthy now. You must live NOW. There are no guarantees that you will live tomorrow, that you will ever become pregnant again or that there will ever be another Republican president. If you wait for the perfect set of circumstances before you embrace life, you will never, ever truly live.
I'm not admonishing you, I'm speaking as a friend who struggles with this same thing daily and doesn't want to see you drown in What If's and Maybe's and One Day's.
I promise that on the days I'm able to embrace what I have rather than wallow in what I don't, things get just a little bit better.
Ok, Polyanna is shutting up now.

Thinking of you.
Posted by: Sis B at December 29, 2008 09:15 AM (0ScrO)
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I get your point, Sis B, and I hate posts like this because then I always feel like I have to clarify everything: Yes I like my life the way it is (that's part of the problem, that the longer it takes to have a baby, the more I like not having one), yes I am fulfilled on a day-to-day basis with my job and knitting and blogging, etc. But there's something I just can't explain about how I feel these days, that my husband is still working towards goals that will affect our future and I am not. It makes me feel unproductive and stagnant.
And we better freaking have another Republican president.
Posted by: Sarah at December 29, 2008 09:45 AM (TWet1)
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I'm all for learning Pashto!!! :-) And that'd be a great activity to do together :-).
Posted by: kannie at December 29, 2008 01:15 PM (iT8dn)
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Amritas (& Sarah) - Wow! Didn't realize Mr. Grok already had Persian - how cool!
I was a (mediocre) linguistics major in college, so I'm more than a bit chagrined to admit that, while I know enough to be really enthralled by the mere mention of learning it & recognize the roots you mention, I haven't kept up with it enough to even sound intelligent, as "less academic" priorities have taken over life, LOL.
But wow. I love this blog for SO many reasons! :-)
Posted by: kannie at December 30, 2008 10:20 AM (iT8dn)
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I would definitely be frustrated as well, as my dh is currently mired in his masters I can imagine how irritated I'd be if he came home wanting to work on a second one when the first one has been such a time suck. Particularly on the backside of a deployment? I probably would not have been as kind, come to think of it. And I know very well that frustration of wanting your life as a parent to "start".
I think finding something else to focus on as a goal would be a good thing. Go for the Pashto!
Posted by: dutchgirl at December 30, 2008 12:10 PM (rVkwX)
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December 27, 2008
DOCUMENTING
I debated whether I should post
that thing on sleep the other day. It seemed unnecessary to
cash that chip on the blog. It also made us look like we had problems, and I never like to give that impression.
But if you asked me if we had any reintegration issues in 2005, I would've said that we didn't. A trip back through those archives reveals that we did indeed have a rough patch or two. If I hadn't documented them on the blog, I would've forgotten those tough days and said that we had no problems whatsoever. I wanted to document this issue too.
This reintegration, it is a tricky thing, even for solid couples. My husband is truly my best friend. We like the same movies, the same music, the same foods, the same TV. We're both stingy, both homebodies, and both love Krauthammer. I wanted to show that reintegration is hard even for couples who get along swimmingly. It's an adjustment. I wanted to document that, because to pretend like we weren't frustrated with each other was to lie, in a sense.
He's been home a week now, and we're doing much better. No more grumpiness. He's staying up a little later to be with me and I'm not asking him to stay up as long as I'd like to. We're meeting halfway and doing fine. I want to document that too, to keep a record of when we got back on track.
MORE TO GROK:
More thoughts at SpouseBUZZ.
Posted by: Sarah at
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We have very similar sleep concerns. She is a late night person; I am (of necessity) an early morning person. When I came back in early '07, the main issue I remember was the dog, who hated strangers and men--I was both. Aside from that, she wanted to go out and do stuff and meet people and show me around, and I just wanted to stay home, sleep, and do nothing for a while. I didn't even want to play video games.
I got better.
As a matter of fact, I'm going to do that now.
Thank you for these posts.
Sig
Posted by: Sig at December 27, 2008 07:19 AM (tYTjM)
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"have a rough patch or two"
Sweetie, ya'll are human. It's the rough patches that make the rest so good.
Posted by: Pamela at December 27, 2008 09:57 AM (ynjvH)
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Our second reintegration was tough also. It takes time and no one is perfect. The beauty lies in being able to recognize the tough stuff and loving each other enough to work through it all.
Posted by: Vonn at December 27, 2008 09:40 PM (xpxMy)
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I think, over time, we tend to look at homecomings and reunions through rose colored glasses. I know I look back at our last homecoming and I tend to gloss over the adjustments that were necessary.
I'm curious to see how this next one goes. I am doing my best to keep myself from getting cocky - assuming that because the last one went so well that the next one will too.
MacGyver and I were just talking about this last night. I explained to him the snowflake analogy and he liked that. Said he hadn't thought about it and that it gave him some good perspective. I think he's heading into this next deployment expecting it to be similar, in many ways, to the last. I worry that it will not and that his dashed expectations might be a tough thing to deal with - for him and for me.
Thanks for sharing this - it helps to see how even solid relationships deal with reintegration and readjustment and that no one is immune from their effects. I'm glad things have smoothed out for you!!
Posted by: HomefrontSix at December 28, 2008 02:37 PM (4Es1w)
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December 26, 2008
TRAGICALLY HIP
We hung out together every single moment
'Cause that's what we though married people do
Complete with the grip of artificial chaos
And believing in the country of me and you
The husband is walking the dog and I am on teh internets. I am learning to not want to be with him every waking second.
But we did go out together this afternoon. The husband had a very Happy Boxing Day...

But, you know, technically it's mine because it was my permit. I plan to remind him constantly that they are both my guns but that he can borrow one if he wants to.
Heh.
Oh, and CVG got me a funny Christmas present. She was bored of getting me knitting books all the time and decided this year to focus on my second hobby. Her husband picked it out for me, which I find phenomenally cute.
My boys are back from their walk now. Gotta go stick to him like glue again...
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And believing in the country of me and you
What's your immigration policy?
When will your second hobby come to eclipse your first? Now that Kim du Toit's offline, there's an online market niche waiting to be filled ...
Gotta go stick to him like glue again...
Insert appropriate sound effect here.
Posted by: Amritas at December 26, 2008 12:48 PM (miOrm)
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"Funny Xmas present?" May I remind you that "this book can save your life!" Glad you enjoyed it...I gave hubs the same book, I mean, since he researched it and it was approved by him, I was sneaky and got a 2nd copy for him!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at December 26, 2008 04:06 PM (C/w9N)
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nice. It reminds me that I want to go shooting next month.
Found you via milblogging. I'm a future milspouse, possibly milblogging milspouse. Hope you don't mind if I visit from time to time.
Posted by: Annie at December 26, 2008 07:59 PM (wfky/)
Posted by: ekejpx at January 06, 2009 11:52 AM (YtHZo)
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I'VE GOT YOUR BACK
I never wrote about the shoe thrower, but
Maggie's assessment is spot on.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Exactly!
What bothers me so much is that in addition to the laughing, there is some kind of retarded assumption that just because I don't agree with P.E. Obama on MANY things, I would enjoy a shoe being thrown at him.
It would make me sick. And it makes me sick that people think I'm lying about that, because it is 100% true.
To think I'm lying about my respect for the office of the president and my belief that the office - whether "my guy" is in there or not - deserves and requires a certain amount of respect is only to show that a certain segment of our society have tragically lost something morally. Something absolutely necessary for a civil society.
I would not applaud someone throwing a shoe at Ahmadinijad, either, and I showed up at both the Columbia and UN Protests against him.
Thanks, Code Pink, for helping to create an environment where throwing shoes at world leaders is seen as "funny" and "cool" instead of a world where people can actually talk about their differences.
Posted by: airforcewife at December 26, 2008 02:09 PM (Fb2PC)
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One can't win intellectual victories with Nikes.
Especially when they are wearing those Nikes to protests against sweatshops in Asia.
Heh. Sorry, couldn't resist. But I seemed to see a lot of that at the protests I went to!
Posted by: airforcewife at December 27, 2008 06:10 AM (Fb2PC)
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Good observation, AFW!
It's hard to live a "pure" life. We're so brainwashed by those big bad capitalists. We're all victims ... sob ...
I bet some of those protesters drove to their life-defining events in SUVs.
Posted by: Amritas at December 28, 2008 01:15 PM (HGaLd)
Posted by: ssmnfks at January 06, 2009 12:00 PM (/j1lm)
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December 25, 2008
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR MAMA SAYS
Today was great. My husband didn't fall asleep once! Heh.
We had a lovely day. And we just listened to this and had a good laugh.
SNL Christmas Song
Posted by: Sarah at
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